You Can Make a Difference!

          There is a story I sometimes read in my Spirituality Groups for the adolescents and the adults at Hall-Brooke, the psychiatric hospital where I work as a chaplain.  It is called “An Afternoon in the Park” and is by Julie A. Manhan. 

          There once was a little boy who wanted to meet God.  He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six-pack of root beer and he started his journey. 

          When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old woman.  She was sitting in the park just staring at some pigeons.  The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase.  He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her a Twinkie.  She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him.  Her smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer.  Once again she smiled at him.  The boy was delighted!

          They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

          As it began to grow dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave.  He turned around, ran back to the old woman and gave her a hug.  She gave him her biggest smile ever.

          When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face.

          She asked him, “What did you do today that made you so happy?”  He replied, “I had lunch with God.  You know what?  She’s got the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen!” 

          Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home.  Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face and he asked, “Mother, what did you do today that made you so happy?”  She replied, “I ate Twinkies in the park with God.  You know, he’s much younger than I expected.” 

          This story is a reminder that we all make a difference in the lives of those around us. Whether we are young or old, rich or poor, our actions speak volumes and bring the presence of God to those who cross our paths. 

          We live in troubled times.  I spent one morning last week watching CNN with the sole purpose of finding a positive story and sandwiched in between the dismal news coming from Iraq, from Darfur, the murders, the extreme weather related deaths, the Jena 6 trial and the political race there was a story about a woman who rescues rats.  If memory serves, I think they said she had over thirty rats living with her right now.  Some run around her house, some live in little rat condos, but there, in the midst of all the pain was someone making a difference in the lives of some rats.  You may not agree with her devotion, but she is making a difference.

          That is the beauty of it.  Making a difference is a personal, unique experience and sometimes it is evident and sometimes we never know the impact our words or actions have on another human being. 

I would like to share an experience with you that happened over 24 years ago.  I was 14 years old and living in Austin TX when the phone rang one evening.  I was alone and cannot remember where my mother or stepfather were at the time.  On the other end of the line a man’s voice said, “I want to kill myself.”  My blood chilled, I didn’t recognize the voice.  I asked who it was but the man would not give me his name.  He said he was just randomly dialing because he did not have anyone else and wanted someone to talk to.  For two hours, I talked with him, asked him why he wanted to kill himself, asked him to go to the hospital and tried to make him see he was not really alone.  At one point, he asked me how old I was and I was honest with him, told him I was 14, which upset him again, but I tried to assure him that I was a very old 14 and had seen and experienced a great deal.  I continued to talk with him, frantic to try to do something, say something that would be the magic words to help this stranger.  He asked me if he could get my phone number and address because it helped him so much to talk to me.  He wanted to meet me and be my friend.  As much as I wanted to help that man, there was a part of me that realized I couldn’t give him that information, especially since I was alone.  I urged him to get professional help,  and then he hung up.

          When my mother and stepfather finally got home I was beyond upset.  I wanted to save this stranger, but they were both so relieved that I didn’t give him my number or address and to this day I still wonder about him, if he is ok.  I will never know if I made a difference in his life, but he sure made a difference in my life.  I believe that experience in some way played a part in what I do today as a chaplain in a psychiatric hospital. 

There is the old slogan, Think Globally, Act Locally and it still holds true today.  We can become paralyzed by all of the suffering going on in the world and believe that our actions do not matter, but they do.  It is about relationships.  Making a difference is about being in relationship.  Relationship with yourself, with your family, with your community,  with your environment and with the world.  In that order.  So often, I watch people in my life so consumed with a cause that can save the world, they neglect the people around them.  I am guilty of that as well.  My goal to become an ordained minister and certified chaplain took me nine years.  In my desire to save the world I sacrificed relationships with family and friends.  I have made an intentional effort over the past year to reconnect to them because I have realized that I cannot make a difference in the greater world until I have made a difference in my own life and to the people and the community that sustains and nurtures my soul. 

Once you have done that, once you have taken care of yourself and your community, then it is easier to look at the world around you and ask yourself:

What matters to me?

Where can I make a difference based on my values? 

You are just one person, yet as this morning’s contemporary reading by Marianne Williamson points out, “and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

          I was watching Oprah one day and she had a segment about giving and Bill Clinton was talking about his book and had other people on who had made a difference in their communities. 

          I was struck by an organization she talked about called Kiva.org.  A husband and wife founded Kiva.org in 2004.  Kiva lets you connect with and loan money to unique small businesses in the developing world. By choosing a business on Kiva.org, you can "sponsor a business" and help the world's working poor make great strides towards economic independence. Throughout the course of the loan (usually 6-12 months), you can receive email journal updates from the business you've sponsored. As loans are repaid, you get your loan money back.  I was impressed by the organization because it is a more personal way of giving.  You can donate as little as $25.  It is a relationship model so you know who is getting your loan and why.  The Internet is able to make the global local in many ways.    

          Here is story, which you may have heard before.  It is entitled the The Starfish Story and is adapted from a book called the Star Thrower by Loren Eisley.

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.



One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.



As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.



He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"



The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."



"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.



To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."



Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!" At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one." 

Each act, no matter how small, makes a difference even if the task is daunting and you feel overwhelmed at times.  Be in the moment and do not be discouraged when others do not share your vision.

At the end of his book “Giving” Bill Clinton writes “Believer or nonbeliever, we all live in an interdependent world in which our survival depends upon an understanding that our common humanity is more important than our interesting and inevitable differences and that everyone matters.  In Africa, where the first human stood up o the savannah 150,000 years ago, some tribes have a remarkable way of greeting each other.  When one person says hello, the response is “I see you.”  Think how much better the world would be if we actually saw each other? 

          Making a difference in someone’s life involves actually seeing them, acknowledging their humanity and remembering that we are all connected as our first UU principle points out “To respect the inherent worth and dignity of each person.”

          In order to that, I believe you must first make a difference in your own life. You cannot make a difference in the world if you do not take care of yourself first.

Maya Angelou wrote, “If you don’t like something, change it.  If you can’t change it, change your attitude.  Don’t complain.”  At the beginning of the year, Tara Fleck told me about something she had seen called “A Complaint Free World.”  Will Bowen, a minister of Christ Church Unity in Kansas City, MO decided to create these purple bracelets and spoke about it during a Sunday service.   He writes that “our words are powerful indicators of our thoughts, and our thoughts shape our reality.  When we complain, we draw to us negative things because we put out negative energy.  One of the most important things we can do is to learn not to complain.”  He learned that scientists believe it takes 21 days to form a new habit and that complaining is habitual for most of us.  The bracelets serve as reminders.  I loved the idea and sent off an email in April requesting some bracelets and was told I would receive them in 4-8 weeks.  Well, they arrived yesterday, not that I am complaining, in perfect time for my sermon today.  So far, dedicated volunteers have shipped over 3,600,587 bracelets to people all over the world.   I will hand them out after the service as people are leaving.

Here are the rules of wearing the bracelet:

1.  Begin to wear the bracelet now, on either wrist.

2.  When you catch yourself complaining, gossiping or criticizing (it’s ok, everyone does) move the bracelet to the other arm and begin again.)
3.  If you hear someone else who is wearing a bracelet complain, you may point out their need to switch the bracelet to the other arm, BUT if you’re going to do this, you must move your bracelet first!
4.   Stay with it.  It may take many months but when you reach 21 days you will find that your entire life is happier, more loving, more positive and more abundant. 
When you reach 21 days, go to www.acomplaintfreeworld.org

and they will send you a certificate of happiness. 

          This morning’s traditional responsive reading by Lao-tse is a reminder of this.  In order for there to be peace in the world, there must be peace in your heart. 

I invite you all to do this with me, take a bracelet and see how it changes your life.  Gandhi said “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”  It starts with you.